Have you been to see The Passion of the Christ? If you've seen the movie, then you may feel the same way I do. Jay and I went on Wednesday morning and stood in line to watch a film that changed how I view the last hours of my very best friend.

Something happened to my heart during the movie. I can't say exactly when, but at some point I began to hurt. I began to feel that the wounds Jesus was receiving were coming from my own hands. At the same time I realized each strike and blow on His body should have been given to me. My best friend was being tortured, humiliated, wounded and eventually killed. By whom? The answer came from somewhere deep inside my soul.. "Me". I did it. And I began to weep in a way that I have never wept before.

I grieved the awful things that Jesus went through for me, because of me, and in my place.

I began to think about how I am honoring Jesus with the new life that He has given me. How am I honoring Him as I wake each day and interact with others? How am I honoring Him as I parent my children? How about in my marriage, how do I treat my husband? How do I honor Jesus in all my relationships? Am I always showing my appreciation to Jesus for what He did for me? Am I disappointing Him by the things I say, my attitude, and the way I spend my time? Am I spending that time freely for my own selfish desires, or am I spending it showing others who He is and what He has done for each one of us?

I have friends and family in this world that do not know Jesus or call Him their best friend. When I try to rationalize this, I just say, "Well, the subject never came up." Who am I kidding? I say He's my best friend and I don't talk about Him; I don't let Him shine in all I say and do? What have I been doing with my time?

Who are we called to be? His children. Do we act like it? Are we fighting with each other over worldly things that won't matter in the long run? Are we saying things behind each other's backs that hurt and tear down? Or worse, to each other's face. How do I feel when a sister calls me to help her do something for the children's ministry? Am I ready to jump on the bus with the teenagers and travel to a retreat that may make all the difference in their lives? Do I give of my money freely to support others who are on the mission fields all over the world? Better yet, do I open my mouth while I am on the mission field (grocery store, basketball games, the mall, etc.) and I hear or see someone struggling to make it through this life without Jesus? Do I tell them about Him? He is my best friend. I love Him and I know He wants me to honor Him by telling others about Him.

I have to tell you, that after Wednesday morning, my life will not be the same anymore. I watched Him suffer for me and I saw Him die before my eyes. Opening His word to study will never again be the same. I'm not trying to glorify a film here, just the One it depicts. I want others to feel like I do. I want others to realize His love for them and His passion for all mankind. I want the world to know that my best friend died on a cross for them. I want them to know He lives. He reigns. He forgives and He loves... you and me. That's why He did it.

-Copyright © 2004 Melissa Poling